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Archive for April, 2009

For Cleo

A poem my sister sent when my cat Skitters died:

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray this cushy life to keep.

I pray for toys that look like mice

and sofa cushions soft and nice,

I pray for gourmet kitty snacks

and someone nice to scratch my back,

For windowsills all warm and bright,

For shadows to explore at night.

I pray I’ll always stay real cool

and keep the secret feline rule

to NEVER tell a human that

the world (and heaven) is really ruled by cats!

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Death vigil

I am becoming nonfunctional as Cleo dies. The house is a mess, I can’t leave, I can’t focus on tasks. I have been doing crossword puzzles nonstop for two days, with her next to me most of the time. She is consuming a teaspoon of food per day, a couple of teaspoons of water per day. She’s leaking fluid out of her hydration site long after the fluids should be gone. I think she’s seeping body fluid that is backing up. She is no longer using the cat box. Hasn’t peed or pooped. She can walk about three feet without lying down to rest for a while. She seeks my company but can only lie and breathe heavily. She purrs, but it is endorphin purring, not happy purring. I can’t watch her suffer any more. Tomorrow we will have her put to sleep. We are going to ask the vet if it is possible for them to come here to give her the shot. We live just around the corner from the vet. I hate to even disrupt her comfort long enough to walk her over there.

I am so sad. I will miss my old friend so much.

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Filet Meow

Last night my husband and I stood in the cat food aisle and examined every possible cat food for potential. We discovered Filet Meow, which comes in a pouch and is heavy on the gravy. Cleo ate it. She didn’t eat much, but she ate it like it was crack. So this weekend she gets as much Filet Meow as she will eat. She’s consuming about a teaspoon at a time, which is a lot for her right now. This morning, after slurping down her big feast of one teaspoon of Crack Meow, she’s in lying on top of my sleeping husband, purring. Yay!!

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I give up

In the last two days, Cleo has consumed about a tablespoon of food. She’s already enduring forced hydration. Today I rubbed heavy whipping cream on her face to make her consume calories. She isn’t eating anymore. She is only hydrated because we stick a big needle in her every other day and pour fluid under her skin. I think we have to call it quits next week. I can’t sit and watch her starve to death.

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How does your garden grow?

I love it when early spring gives way to warm, sunny days that make flowers pop out everywhere. I would go nuts (short trip) if I couldn’t garden. Too many years in apartments. I MUST garden.

I planted my sweet 100 cherry tomato plant yesterday. I always get too many, so I’m only going to grow two or three this year. I’m waiting for one or two good roma starter plants to appear at the farmers market in the next few weeks. I will either grow one cherry and one roma, two cherries and one roma, or one cherry and two romas. That is IT. My chard and Russian red kale are already up. The strawberries and raspberries are blooming. I already ate all the asparagus and am letting the final few stalks seed out. Time to pull up my winter curly kale in the front yard. My shallots are trying to bloom but not making big shallots. I’m clueless about them. But I planted some garlic for the first time and it is coming up. I will probably plant a couple of bean plants. I like growing beans.

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More about Cleo

Cleo is still hanging in there. We thought we were going to lose her on Saturday. She had one of her spells, where she has trouble breathing and falls down panting and drooling. We don’t know if it is some kind of seizure or what, but it looks bad, whatever it is. Cleo was trying to go the three feet from the bed to her cat box but collapsed halfway there and peed on herself while starting to pant and drool.

Just walking from one room to another can get her out of breath now, and it takes all her energy to jump up on a chair or climb onto the computer. The subcutaneous fluid is helping, but giving it to her is stressful for her and us.

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That Venus/Mars thing

My son is visiting this week. I love my son dearly, but we always end up yelling at each other. I’m a liberal/environmentalist/atheist, whereas he’s a conservative/libertarian/anti-environmentalist/Christian. He also got his father’s car salesman genes, so if you disagree with one of his beliefs, he follows you around, aggressively insisting that you are wrong, your beliefs are stupid, and that he is absolutely correct.

My husband hides a lot when my son comes to visit, because my agitated state of grrrrrrr gets on his nerves, and he doesn’t have much in common with my son. My mother plays the mediator, calmly trying to explain to my son that he can’t just demand that other people adhere to his views. I’ve seen her lose her temper with him too, and tell him he’s being a butthead.

He has many good qualities, like generosity and a tendency to rescue kittens, but he is a little hard to be around for an extended period of time. I’d still rather put up with his annoying behavior than not get to see him. He lives 500 miles away from me so I don’t get to see him that often.

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