The whole world watched as Sarah Palin left her family home while pursuing her rabid ambition. The result was family chaos. Babies born to teenage daughters, husband sleeping on the couch, Trig left with Todd and Piper and the babysitter. Sarah has once again been away from home, in an undisclosed location, while ghostwriters spew nonsense on her Facebook page and Todd takes care of the kids. Megamouth has been strangely silent, right up until the recent denial about another blown off speaking engagement.
Chapter One
Todd, tired of the whole mess, left Piper with Trig and went off into the woods with the babysitter for a bit of hanky panky. His timing sucked though, because Sarah finally came home, fresh from her rehab and plastic surgery gig, with Megamouth trailing behind.
Todd and the babysitter have been making goo goo eyes at each other for a while.
They finally manage to sneak into the woods and do something about it.
Oh you big hunk!
I want you babe.
I want you too!
You are sooo sexy!
I’m going to rip your clothes off.
oh please!
This rock will do fine.
You are so hot!
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
I could drown in your eyes!
Uh, oh, they don’t see Sarah watching them.
They are too engrossed in each other.
Sarah is pissed.
Megamouth is watching too.
They don’t see her.
Take me, Todd!
Bend over, baby!
They hump like bunnies while Sarah and Megamouth fume.
ooh ooh ooh!
take it baby, take it!
Sarah and Megamouth snap and go after them in a rage.
Megamouth grabs a big rock.
Sarah grabs a big stick.
Get them!
Oh no, it’s Meg and my wife!
Help!
No help for you, you cheating bastard and traitorous babysitter bimbo!
They’re down!
Yes!
Take that!
no, no, help!
You don’t deserve to live!
Sarah and Megamouth get more rocks.
I’m going to smash you.
Prepare to die.
Megamouth finds a big rock.
Your cheatin’ days are over.
No more pretty face.
No more cheatin’ parts.
You two are toast.
You bastard and bitch.
You’re fired, babysitter!
I’m burning the snowmachines.
You were worthless anyway.
And the psychos rejoice.
Much rejoicing.
Chapter Two
Although the babysitter expired, Todd was just badly banged up. He managed to crawl out from under the rocks and get his cell phone out of his pocket. He called his pal, Greta Van Sustern, who is madly in love with him, and who happened to be in Alaska doing some interviews. He told her that Sarah and Megamouth came after him and a friend and that he wanted revenge. Greta, angry that her husband has been drooling over Sarah, has become disillusioned with her former girl crush and thinks Todd is getting a bum deal from his overly ambitious wife. So Greta made some phone calls to the Wasilla Women For Todd (WWFT) and rounded up some members for a mayhem expedition. They went out to where Sarah and Megamouth were gloating and planning Sarah’s next celebrity opportunity.
Sarah, I think you totally outshine those blonde bimbos on Fox now that you’ve had plastic surgery. They will give you top billing.
Yes, I am a babe and will be famous again.
And your book will make millions. Now you don’t have to share with Todd.
Yes, he was becoming a big weight around my neck, dragging me down.
There are lots of men out there with real power and money who will treat you right.
Todd was nothing but trouble.
Hey, isn’t that Greta?
And some of our friends from Wasilla?
Greta and the WWFT are on a mission of mayhem.
Sarah throws too many women under the bus, and now Todd too.
We’ll fix her!
She’s gonna be one dead bitch. Her and that Meg bitch with the bushy eyebrows.
They advance on Sarah and Megamouth.
Sarah and Megamouth are confused at the anger in their expressions.
Why do you have sticks?
Run Meg! They are going to get us!
You can’t get away, Sarah! This is for Todd!
Oh no! Run!
Hurry, they are catching up!
Greta and the WWFT continue to advance.
Sarah and Megamouth are in total panic.
Big sticks and revenge in their hearts.
Two of the women circle around and cut off Sarah and Megamouth’s escape.
Greta catches up with Sarah.
I’m going to beat you to a pulp, you bitch!
You had no right to hurt Todd!
You are dead meat!
Get them girls!
Whack whack whack!!!
Bash bash bash!!
Smash smash smash!!!
They’re down!
Keep hitting them!
This is for Todd!
Greta and the WWFT rejoice.
Much rejoicing.
Ding dong, the witch is dead!
Long live Todd!
We can all marry him!
Throw your sticks on them and kick them!
Greta is pleased.
Very pleased. She secretly thinks about how she will get rid of the WWFT and get Todd for herself.
We are tired of pretending to like Sarah so she won’t wreck our lives.
Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, free at last!
Okay! Alright! Kick the assess of the whole trashy kit and caboodle. Kick them all the way back to the trailer park.
What would Mattel think? Who cares?
I hope you two had a great time! Better than Sarah, who didn’t fare so well. Nothing she doesn’t deserve in Barbie form! She didn’t quite make it for the Rapture, did she?
I think the Rapture grounds are really in that country Africa anyway and not in Alaska. She would have been standing in the wrong place at the right time. Since she’s not real bright, she messed up the letters and got it wrong. Like pretty much everything she touches…
omg lolol!
I’m wondering if the barbie soft porn freaked some people out. I usually get a couple more comments.
I who don’t usually partake of any kind of porn, am LOL at your story. It’s barbie land, for goodness sake. I am fascinated by how the barbies come to life.
I love the new Barbie Theatre. I can easily revisit all the Barbie Drama
[…] Plastic Mayhem: hanky panky Posted on January 13, 2011 by theperilsofpalins| Leave a comment The whole world watched as Sarah Palin left her family home while pursuing her rabid ambition. The result was family chaos. Babies born to teenage daughters, husband sleeping on the couch, Trig left with Todd and Piper and the babysitter. Sarah has once again been away from home, in an undisclosed location, while ghostwriters spew nonsense on her Facebook page and Todd takes care of the kids. Megamouth has been strangely silent, right up until th … Read More […]
If I remember right, a lot of chaos happened when she was at home too, because she is a terrible mother. The only time she gives her kids any attention is when the camera is aimed at her.
I think Todd is an opportunistic roofer always on the lookout for a new job.
Barbie as art! Brava!